Tuesday 15th March. A meeting is taking place at No. 10 Downing Street. Present are PM David Cameron, his next door neighbour, Inner Circle guy number 1 and Inner Circle guy number 2.
(George Osborne is coming to the end of a run through of his budget speech)
George: "....and I commend this budget to the house!"
IC No. 2: "Good job Georgie. Bravo!"
Dave: "Isn't it a bit heavy on cut taxes for the rich and cut benefits for the disabled?
IC No 1: "Not forgetting the wholesale privitsation of all schools through the academies programme."
Dave: "Not to mention public debt is rising and you're not going to make your budget surplus target."
George: "Yeah I know."
IC No.1: "We need a diversion."
IC No.2: "Agreed"
IC No.1: "What's that fellow Oliver off the TV lathering himself up about nowadays."
George: "School dinners??"
Dave: "No, you mean the 'sugar tax' on fizzy drinks? Yes, Sam mentioned it the other night."
IC No. 1: "Yes that's perfect! Give the corporations some time to administer a substitute like aspartame. The papers will be all over the 'sugar tax' story like a rash. The more controversial stuff will be in the inside pages. I'll have a word with you know who."
Dave: "It's still a very Tory budget. I mean, I like it George, don't get me wrong, but..."
IC No.2: "Hmmmm. Is the Home Secretary about?"
Dave: "What Teri?? I'll give her a call."
(Within 30 minutes the Home Secretary has joined the meeting. IC No.2 is giving her instructions)
IC No. 2: "So, are you okay with this? You'll have to make sure you sit to the left of George for maximum impact."
Theresa: "Yes. I think I have just the outfit."
Dave: "Are you sure you're okay with this, Teri? We need you and the 'sugar tax' to occupy the headlines if we're to slip this other stuff through."
Theresa: "So long as I can choose the colour Prime Minister."
IC No.1: "Twitter will go into meltdown over your cleavage, I am sure!"
(The next day - midway through George Osborne's speech)
George [turns to Theresa] : "Good show Teri, I think our plan will work."
Tags croydon, greenparty